A lot of us were handed a religion early in life. We didn’t choose it. We didn’t spend years studying different beliefs and deciding which one made the most sense to us. We were taught what our parents believed, and in many cases, our parents were taught what their parents believed. The same beliefs were passed from one generation to the next, becoming part of the family long before we were old enough to question any of it. That was my experience.

Sometimes we can be surrounded by people and still feel unseen. We can live with someone for years and discover there are parts of them we’ve never really taken the time to know. We can raise children without fully getting to know who they’re becoming. We can have friends and family we’ve known for decades and still know very little about who they are today. We can work beside someone for years and only know what we need to know to get the job done. And that’s how we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely.

Sometimes saving a marriage begins with something we may not expect. Before you can save a marriage, you must find your way back to the person you married. When you first met, you probably wanted to know everything about each other. You asked questions because you were curious. You wanted to know what they thought, what made them laugh, what they dreamed about, what mattered to them, and what they wanted their life to look like. Getting to know each other was part of falling in love.