The Difference Between Perception and Truth

For a long time, I’ve been perceived as assertive, overly direct, or like I don’t care.

The reality is the complete opposite. When someone I love is hurting, my mind naturally starts looking for a way FORWARD. Helping solve the problem is one of the deepest ways I know how to express care.

For years, I thought people misunderstood me. Then I realized that many times we just aren’t having the same kind of conversation.

Someone may come to me wanting an emotional conversation. My mind naturally responds with a practical one.

That doesn’t mean I don’t understand their emotions. In fact, I often understand EXACTLY what they’re feeling. Once I understand the emotion, my mind immediately begins asking, “How do we move FORWARD from here?”

People sometimes interpret that as emotional distance. I experience it as love and care.

If I didn’t care, I would NOT spend my TIME thinking through YOUR situation. I would NOT invest my ENERGY trying to HELP you find a way FORWARD .

The very thing that’s sometimes interpreted as a lack of care is actually one of the primary ways I express it🤷🏾

I don’t measure care by how long someone can sit with me in difficult emotions. I measure care by how committed someone is to helping me BUILD A BETTER FUTURE.

As a parent, this has shaped how I’ve raised my two sons. I’ve always told them it’s okay to feel their emotions. Name them. Express them. Honor them. Then ask yourself, “What’s my next step?”

I’ve never believed my role as a parent was to SIT in the mud with them. My role has been to PULL THEM OUT OF IT.

For years, I wondered if I was the problem because people perceived me as someone who didn’t care.

I now understand, I’m not the problem. The perception is NOT the TRUTH.

I care deeply. I simply express that care DIFFERENTLY than people expect me to. That realization has given me permission to stop trying to become someone I’m not and to recognize that if someone is looking for a different kind of support, I’m simply NOT the right person for THAT CONVERSATION.

That leaves no room for UNTRUE perceptions…